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Riderless riding – A not-so-serious look into the future

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Dear Editor;
Technology in all spheres of life is gathering pace at an alarming rate.

Everyday home appliances can now make qualitative decisions to enhance their capabilities, and some of us in the older age category have trouble understanding just why things have to be so. It sometimes looks like technology for technology’s own sake. Most of us enjoy driving our cars, but this wikll soon be a thing of the past as the progress of reliable, safe driverless cars is said to be upon us.

I take exception at the progress and experimentation of the riderless motorcycle. A reliable informant quotes the design parameters of a bike with no handlebars, and one seat with backrest and roll bar, plus a compulsory seat belt. This whole assembly locks the passenger to the machine with an over-theshoulder harness. Guidance of the two-wheeler is said to be based on the system used in driverless cars, which is already established.

However, my source informs me that there is difficulty at this time in controlling the outrigger arms, as the designers have not yet perfected the programmable logic controller eddy current brake system to enable safe riding. The outrigger arms hold the bike upright at traffic lights etc. Any failure of the eddy current control system could allow the outrigger arms to descend at the wrong time, causing straight line riding. Failure of this system could easily lift the rear wheel from contact with the road, or even worse, tip the bike from its
centre of gravity, causing it to slide up the road. This serious flaw must be overcome as safety is paramount. We are also informed that there is trouble with the particle induction filter due to resonant frequencies and the impedance of control valve windings. Further problems are evident in the over-shoulder safety harness, due to hysteria of the magnetically controlled shuttle valves. This has resulted in shoulder dislocation of many test dummies. There is a
suggestion of super-cooling the voltage multiplier circuit, to suppress the ripple voltages that control the shuttle valves. Let us hope these technical problems will take a long time to fix, as all Ulysseans enjoy the freedom of riding and being in control of their chosen motorcycle.

Ken Oliver #7411.

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Maurice Blackburn Lawyers

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